Way Back Into Love

Recently I just made a new playlist in my iPhone titled, “Tergilas Cinta” How can I translate it to English, huh? “Tergilas” can be translated into crushed I guess. So it means crushed by love. Super cheesy! I know! But the thing is that’s exactly what I feel in these couple months. I think I’m falling in love.

One of the songs in the playlist is Way Back into Love sung by Hugh Grant featuring Hayley Bennett. Yesterday, as I drove back to Jakarta from Bandung, I listened to the song and pay too much attention to the lyrics and I really love the last chorus: Continue reading

Tentang Jodoh (Saya)

Postingan kali ini mungkin adalah salah satu postingan paling jujur yang saya bikin di sini. Tentang jodoh. Orang-orang sekitar saya biasa banget bercanda sama saya tentang masalah jodoh yang which is menurut saya wajar banget kalau topik itu terus-terusan dibahas mengingat umur saya yang sekarang ini sudah 24 tahun 5 bulan. Saya sih selalu menanggapi bercandaan jodoh itu dengan balas bercanda, tapi bohong banget kalau saya bilang, “I do not take that into consideration.” Saya peduli banget. Saya juga sadar umur saya udah nggak muda lagi, teman-teman dekat saya juga sudah pada punya pacar dan serius. Kelihatannya saya aja yang paling asik nikmatin hidup saya seperti tokoh perempuan novel metropop pada umumnya: twenty-something career woman, calon sukses (amiin), dan single. Padahal saya sejujurnya khawatir sama diri saya sendiri. Mulai dari kekhawatiran apakah saya yang terlalu picky sampai kekhawatiran bahwa saya memang nggak laku. Okay, the latter kedengeran desperate memang tapi sejujurnya ya memang itu yang saya rasain. Continue reading

The Bridge

There was a bridge stretched between us. You were alone across the bridge, I waved my hand so you could see there was someone on the opposite. You smiled, the smile of our hello, the smile that brought us in the middle of the bridge, the smile I would not forget.

The bridge was the only witness of the joy we shared, stories uttered, laughter bursted, also admiration and the love I hid.

One day, I waited you in the middle of the bridge and I saw you ran to me. “I found my angel!” You yelled from distance. Your eyes shone by admiration. I blushed and smiled wide. Were you that stupid and took so long to realized that your angel has been waiting here, in the middle of the bridge?

You finally reached me, held my hand and said, “You have to meet her. You have to meet my angel!” You pulled my hand and ran to the end of the bridge. I saw someone with a pair of beautiful white wings waiting at the end of the bridge. She was your angel. Your angel wasn’t me, and it has never been me.

The next day, I brought a torch to the bridge. I walked across to your place and I found you with your angel. I called your name, waved, and walked back to the bridge. That would be my last wave for you before I burn the bridge. I would not see you again.

I lit the fire in the middle of the bridge. The fire started to spread when I heard your voice calling my name, you ran to stop the fire. But it was too late. It collapsed right before you reach the middle. I drowned, but you were safe.

Ages has passed. I survived and walked my path nowhere near you. Until one day, I did not know how, my feet brought me to a place I knew, to the bridge I burned. I narrowed my eyes across the collapsed bridge. You were still there, you were alone. The memories rushed back, and I realized something. I could burn the bridge, but I could not burn the memories. I could close my eyes to things I do not want to see, but I could not close my heart to things I do not want to feel.

I turned about and started to walk against the bridge. This time not to flee. I would come back here with a lot of woods, to build a new bridge, to start a new hello, to feel once again the love for you.

And I Would Say

If only I said it to you, if only I said it once.

If only I brave enough to tell you, if only I believe there’s a chance.

Will it still be matter for us?

Will I be able to fix what happened in the past?

Would you once again look at me in the eyes?

Would I have a chance not to tell you lies?

And I would say,

I still love you…

Hanya Pagi Ini

Pagi ini tidak ada secangkir kopi pahit di atas meja kerjaku. Seandainya kamu ada di sini, aku yakin kamu akan tersenyum senang karena merasa berhasil menyingkirkan penyebab utama insomniaku di awal hariku.

Pagi ini cangkir yang biasa terisi kopi pahit yang kau benci kuganti isinya dengan teh hangat ditambah susu yang agak kebanyakan. Seandainya kamu ada di sini, kamu pasti mengomentari kadar susunya. Akan membuatku gendut katamu. Tapi tidak apa, toh kamu tidak ada di sini.

Pagi ini, aku tidak ingin merasakan pahit seperti biasanya. Aku sedang tidak ingin ditemani pahit yang selalu berhasil membuatku tersadar bahwa hidup tidak selalu manis.

Pagi ini, aku ingin ditemani rasa manis karena tanpa kopi pun sudah terasa pahit menyadari kamu tidak di sini. Seperti yang dulu selalu kamu lakukan. Kamu muncul kemudian hilang. Pagi ini pun begitu. Kamu hilang lagi.

Pagi ini. Hanya pagi ini. Biarlah kenyataan yang pahit terlupakan dengan isi cangkirku.

I Miss You

I never knew that saying I miss you would be as hard as this. It’s not because the first two words, it’s because the last word: you. I always tried to keep it to myself. I don’t want you to know. I don’t need anyone knows about this. Let it be a secret between myself and I.

But you always appear and disappear anytime you want. Make me forget that you’re exist, and make me realise that you’re there. Then, I miss you.

I am tired of this. I’m sick of keeping this all by myself.

This time, let me point it out. I miss you.

All The Love in The World

“I’m not looking for someone to talk to. I’ve got my friends, I’m more than okay. I’ve got more than a girl could wish for. I live my dreams, but that’s not all they say.

Still I believe. I’m missing something real. I need someone who really sees me.”

Only that part. Once again, only that part. It’s enough to represent it. It’s enough. 🙂

Dialogue From “After Sunset” Written By Kristy Nelwan

Rofi: Kenapa lo terlalu banyak nanya?Harusnya gue yang nanya lo!

Edgar: Jawab pertanyaan gue dan gue akan jawab apapun yang lo mau tau.

Rofi: Empat ratus sms lo dalam setahun ini masih rapi disimpan di sebuah folder dalam handphonenya. Gue buka kemaren dan disitulah gue tau nomor lo.

Edgar: Lo nggak tau apa itu ngelanggar privacy?

Rofi: Oh, sekarang lo mau bicara tentang pelanggaran? Lo tau nggak kalo ganggu cewek yang udah punya pacar tu ngelanggar etika? Lo tau nggak kalo lo udah punya tunangan, trus masih juga mesra2 sama cewek lain itu namanya selingkuh?

… menohok

Park Boom – You and I

Kinda late, it’s not a new song, it’s not a new MV. But Nanda just showed me this MV last night and I really love this MV. At the first time I watched it, I got misty eyes. But when I watched it for the second time, I cried. I wish I get a chance to love someone as deep (or deeper) as Park Boom in this video.

“You and I together, It’s just feels so right…” -Park Boom