Almost 21

When I was child, knowing my birthday is about to come made me excited. I love getting older!

When I was teenager, knowing my birthday is about to come made me felt so-so. I started to think that it was nothing special but gifts from friends and had lunch together with friends and lots of birthday wishes.

Now, I am a twenty years old girl (or woman?) and my 21st birthday is about to come. What do I feel? Probably worries. I start thinking about how should I spend my new age wisely, how to be a better person, how to keep focusing on my thesis while I have other things to be done as well, how to be more mature, what is going to change this year, should I start looking for a boyfriend, will I reach my dreams, can I get a job right after my graduation?

Lots of questions pop-up in my mind. My friend, Stu, once said, “21 is the phase when you start thinking. Think about things you didn’t think before. You’ll think about your future more than you did before, you’ll also think about your past to understand your failures and make plan so you won’t do the same failure again in the future. And you must start to learn how to take decisions in your life. It’s not easy, isn’t it? But, that’s the phase you have to get through.” When he said that, I just nodded and think (yes THINK!) that the things he mentioned were probably right BUT I also think about other things like, hey I might be 21 but most of my friends are one year older than me and seems like they don’t think that hard on the things he mentioned (or maybe I just don’t know), or other thoughts like 21 is not that hard, my cousins had experienced it and seemed like they enjoyed it. So what’s the difference between being 19, 20 and 21? Just one to two years difference. I don’t need to play hard with myself.

But then, I remember about my future plan about occupation, family, studies, etc. I want to work in a place I love, I want to get married after 27 years old, I want to quit from my job right after I have babies and I want to take care of them 24/7, I want to continue my study without spend any money so I want to get a full scholarship from my workplace, I want this, I want that, I want lots of things. To fulfill all of my wants, I need to take it seriously. I am not allowed to extend my first degree study, I need to get serious once I get the job that I love so the company would give me the scholarship, I should start to look for my ideal yet possible to get boyfriend or prospective husband (errrr, forget about this one).

Errr, I should stop writing now. It’s getting weird reading this post.

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