What I Deserve?

There’s a question that sticks on my mind since the day icipicip talked about many things. One of them, named Syeni (she’s the one who successfully made me cry with her words but I can’t deny that I need her words) made me ask about one thing: Why I had to have a thought that I’m afraid they would be annoyed if I told ’em about my problems?

Untill finally one day: January 1st 2008 00:00. I couldn’t sleep at all until the minutes ticked one more time and became 00:01 and the January 1st turned to January 2nd. I let myself laid on my bed, tried to made my body comfort so I could sleep. But, I just couldnt. I had finished reading Rectoverso, and For One More Day. The only thing left to read was just some e-books in my lovely-white-with-a-blue-casing-macbook but I couldn’t read them because I didn’t let my eyes become worse. So, I looked for a book to read and I found MY OLD DIARY (well, it doesn’t really old actually, I wrote in it when I was in senior high).

I read a page signed 310307 which means it was written on March 31st 2007. It talked about my fear of separation.

And I remember what my friend in senior high said (well, I don’t really want to write it here).

And I just realized, I always know what my friends deserve from me. But, what I deserve from my friend? Is there any boundary for what I deserve from them?

And after read and remembered that, I just concluded the answer of that sticky question. And the answer lead me to another conclusion. A new conclusion that made me see my friendship is deeper than before, the conclusion that made me know that friendship is that worth.

And now I know, what I deserve from my friends…

The answer is:

i deserve them... always
i deserve them… always

My friends always deserve me for them. And, I always deserve them for me…


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