When The Only Option Left is “Not To Give Up”

Was the thing that popped-up in my mind last night when I was walking down the street alone. It is kind of weird that there was no cab passed by the street last night and how dark and quiet it was. I actually didn’t know what I have to do except crankily walk down. It was 1 a.m, I was afraid, tired and brought lots of stuffs with me and I had to walk this far.

But thanks to last night that finally I thought, “If only I have another option but not to walk. But I don’t”.

I stopped for a moment and thought again, “I have no option and I keep walking. What if I give up? I would just stay here without knowing when will the cab pass. I would probably stood here alone waiting for something that’s not even certain. I don’t know what would happen if I stay and give up walking but if I walk at least I know I walk to the right direction.”

Sometimes, we think that we have no other option but life always provides us with options. And one of the common options is: “to give up” or “not to give up”. Unconsciously, some of us (or maybe most of us) choose “to give up”. And as matter a fact, we don’t even know which option is “to give up” and which one is “not to give up”.

In my simple case for example, I didn’t know what option lead me to “give up”. Did I give up when I finally decided to walk? (means I decided to give up waiting) Or, did I give up if I decided to wait for the cab? (means I decided to give up walking).

“To give up” and “Not to give up” is such a blurry choice. It actually depends on what is exactly our destination? What is actually our goal? If you choose something  that seems like giving up but conversely, it leads you to your destination, then you are not giving up.

My simple case for example, my destination is to get on bed as fast as I can and cuddling up with my sister. If I decided to wait for the cab maybe my sister would already sleep and I wouldn’t be hugged in my sleep when I get there. But I decided to walk and get there faster so my sister was still awake and she could hug me until I slept. Seems like I was giving up waiting the cab but it leads my to my destination. I didn’t give up.

I’m sure you know that once you choose “not to give up” it might not smooth. Obstacles are there, tiresome is your consequence, but knowing you will reach your destiny, isn’t that wonderful?

As a human, I can’t deny that choosing “to give up” is one of the easiest thing to do. But I learned if I choose “to give up” I will just go nowhere, not even closer to my destination, and got no strength to go back to start and anyway we don’t have that “rewind” button in our life so how could we go back to start again? Then the only option is “to move on”. And “to move on” is not giving up. It is walking on different street to reach a better destination.

Before I join my company I am now in, I was an announcer in a top radio station in town but for one and other things I must leave the radio and work in a company. It wasn’t an easy option: “to give up” the thing I love to do (radio) or “not to give up”? I finally decided to leave the radio. Did I give up? No, I didn’t. I didn’t easily give up and act like I don’t like radio at all. But I nourished my goal. I love radio so much! But I don’t want to be an announcer for the rest of my life. I want to pursue a great career, saving money and build my own radio. It might seems that I gave up what I love, but as matter a fact I wasn’t not giving up what I love, I try to move on from my comfort zone and pursuing a bigger thing.

Do you know what that means? “To give up” is never been the final option. “To give up” is not permanent. Because we are human, this is life. Life goes on, human will die someday. And no one, not even an elder, want to stuck in something that is not certain. By not giving up, we are pursuing something we believe we could reach. Simply, if you work on something to pursue your goal, you are not in a state of giving up. You might giving up your comfort zone, you might be tired, you might need a break, but you don’t need to give up.

Left it, Love it still…

If I may have a little scrappy random thought about what have been through in almost 1 year doing my job, I would say it is not actually what I want.

People out there, my friends, my relatives, my big family, they can see me as a very lucky person for getting a job in this multi-national company. Good salary they could say. Nice working environment. What else can I ask?

I don’t ask for anything more than this. But, I found something bothering me recently. My friend asked me to help him managing her vocal group and mixing some dance songs for her dance group. Guess what I feel? Excited. Waaaaayy more excited than doing my job in office.

Further than that, I know I really miss that kind of job. I really love entertainment world. Well, yes, I am not an on-stage person. In fact, I love to stay back-stage, supporting the performer and here I am doing my office job in office hour, and having another “job” in the night and weekend. Am I tired? Yes. Lack of sleep? Definitely. But I know it would bother me more if I can’t do those things. I left radio almost one year ago. I stopped mixing songs almost one year ago. And I thought I have done with them. I was wrong. I can’t stop doing that. Think about keep practicing my mixing skill even though my friend doesn’t ask me to…

N’ah, just random post. Just knew that I really like what I did…

The Outdated Pen

These two days I attended marketing workshop. The workshop was kinda fun and full of tough discussion between global, regional, and country management. But, I actually won’t share anything about the workshop because I am a stingy person. I won’t let you get the same lesson! Hahaha. No, just kidding. I am not good at re-explaining things I’ve learned. But feel free to ask if you want.

What I am about to write here is just a little part of the workshop. Since the workshop was attended by global, regional, and country management, we had this introduction session to get to know each other. But the introduction was kind of different than any other introduction I had ever done. One week before the workshop, all participants accepted an email attached with some pre-work to do. One of the pre-work instructed us to bring one object which have some significance with us. That was just a simple task to do. Bring an object. But that was kind of difficult for me.

I did not know what I have to bring until the one day before workshop. I really have no idea. I thought about bringing fish because I am Pisces so fish means something for me but I could not find fish. I thought about bringing my macbook because my macbook has been “my significant other” for 4 years but it does not explain me too much it only explain that I love apple. Then I remembered about my diary! Ah damn! I did not bring my diary to Jakarta! But wait, I got an idea. What about pen?

So I chose to bring pen to the workshop. I prepared nothing. The only thing I prepared was only the pen and a book to jot down some note. I did not prepared any sweet or philosophical words to explain about the object I brought because I was pretty confident that I would not be the “lucky number one” in introduction session. So, I will steal some other sayings to beautify my introduction.

But, fate said otherwise. God really knew my bad motive to steal others’ words. No one wanted to be the lucky-number-one and somehow, every body in the room had agreed that I was the one who should start the introduction session. Well, I am a brave girl so I stood up with nothing to say except “Good morning, guys! My name is Ajeng and the object I bring today is a pen…” and the rest of my introduction was something that I could not believe came out from my mouth…

“Good morning, guys! My name is Ajeng and the object I bring today is a pen. I chose pen because I am not an expressive person. I cannot express my self well by talking or acting but once I do writing I feel like I can express every single thing in my mind, and every single thing that I feel. But maybe some of you questioning, ‘Hellooo, Jeng! It’s 2012 and you still use pen and paper? We’ve got computers and laptops!’ Yes you are right. But there is something computers cannot give. It is the emotion. If I read my old diary I will know exactly my emotion at that time from the size of the font, and the shape of my hand writing. It clearly describes what really happened back then. Computers? We won’t bother ourselves increasing and decreasing the font size and font face just to show the emotion in microsoft word. Ah, and there is something I really love about pen. If we type in our computer and we do some mistakes we can easily press backspace button and the mistakes we made was entirely vanished. But if we write with pen and we made some mistakes, no matter how hard we try to cover up the mistakes even with tip-ex, the scratch will stay there, reminding us that we made some mistakes so we can learn not to do the same mistake or more mistakes in the future. That’s all. Thank you very much.”

Beyond my own expectation, everyone in room gave me big applause. The global brand manager said, “We chose the right person to start the introduction! It’s beyond my expectation.” and the marketing regional manager said, “Ajeng, I can’t believe what I hear. A very nice saying about pen from you.”

I smiled and thanked for the compliment but then I thought, “what did i say????? Am I that inspiring?” And the answer is: “Yes, I am inspiring!” Hahaha, are you going to slap me now because now you realize this post is just me praising myself? Close the tab now. Close it now. Hahaha. Just leaving a trace in my own blog, fellas. And yes, I think I will not be able to make such a nice introduction like what I said in the workshop so, I typed it in my own blog so someday I can remember about this. Hahaha. Ciaaaooo!!!!

This Year Birthday Gift

March 10th was my 22nd birthday (Gosh, I’m old!!). I was not prepared to face another chapter of my life because I heard some unpleasant news days before my birthday.

But thanks God, I still got birthday surprise from my work mate. Even Kak Bornok who resigned exactly one day before my birthday was there and involved for the surprise. It really was something. And those birthday wishes from friends and family really brighten up my day.

But above all, I’ve got something more than cadeaux. I asked God days before my birthday: “Dear God, this year gift is not another lost, isn’t it?” I am always afraid of losing something (or someone) and I got a big big feeling that I’m gonna lose something. Well, yes I lose something but guess what I’ve got in return? New friends, lessons and experiences!

New friends in a totally new environment. What’s different between friends in university and workplace? in workplace, your friends are those who work with you, you’re related to them because you need their help and vice versa. But my friends here are not just working partners. We’re literally friends. I can share my stories to them, I know that they’ll cheer me up everytime I’m down (because of my own sill expectation to myself). I know I won’t be alone here.

Lessons. Working with people older than you means you can have a shortcut to know about things that will come years later. Learned about things I’ve never knew. Simply, it feels like take a peek to something I’ll face in the future. Some down feelings I’ve felt also make me learn how to deal with myself. I also learn how a company works. Oh, and I learned something about friendship and relation ship. People might come and go. But they actually never really go. It depends on you, whether you wanna keep on touch with them or not. Even if they go far far away and you can’t see their face again, they actually there with you all the time. They live in your memory. I’ve been taught lots of things.

Experience. My best teacher. How can I say experiences while It’s only been 4 months since I joined the company? It’s nothing compared to those who’ve been worked for years. But, in this 4 months I got so many chances to have more experiences than I expected (including have a face to face meeting with the Global Vice President).

And above those gift, God doesn’t even forget to taught me how to be grateful.

Dear God, thank you. I know this year will be tough. But I also know that You make it tough because you want to make me a better person, don’t You? 🙂